Keeping office dating a secret
With more than two decades of experience in the restaurant industry, he’s seen his fair share of workplace sparks fly.
“You can tell when workers are dating by their timing – they stop talking when people are around, never can be found at the same place at the same time, and show up at work two minutes apart,” says Phillips.
According to career website Vault.com, in its 2011 Office Romance Survey, more than half of respondents fessed up to having a fling with a colleague.
Not all office mating signs are so obvious, but sometimes even the stealthiest of hook-ups slip-up.
When Michael Lockwood was a single divorced dad, he'd often write down dating advice that he planned to give to his daughters when they grew up.
Years later, he's turned those thoughts and advice into a book "Women Have All the Power, Too Bad They Don't Know It." Don’t be impressed by the unimpressive.
For those seeking to pursue, or address, office romances, perhaps it’s best to keep some considerations in mind.
So we asked Scott Steinberg, author of Before pursuing the prospect of dating a coworker, here are a few questions Steinberg says to ask yourself as you go about pursuing a colleague. Many workplaces (though they may pretend to turn a blind eye to or may not have policies in place to address) actively discourage, formally or otherwise, the presence of inter-office relationships.
Sign #5 – Timing is everything Morgan Phillips is a manager at Oddfellow’s Cafe in Seattle.
another department, or subsidiary) where on-the-job concerns are less pronounced, or are less visible to colleagues. Should I be secretive or open about the relationship? Hang out in each others’ offices with doors closed? For example: What if you’re both vying for a management position and only one person can get promoted – how can you keep similar career paths from colliding with spectacular effect? On the job, you may be asked to review others’ work, give unflattering feedback, or deliver unwelcome news – how can you keep your feelings for your partner from getting in the way of doing your job? Consider how you can carve out stress-relieving time and space for each of yourselves. Dating a coworker and office romances aren’t easy, but, as thousands of happy couples can tell you, they can often work out.
When debating whether or not to keep an office romance on the hush, consider how colleagues and clients may react on learning the information – and how it may reflect on all parties involved. Think about propriety as well as others’ feelings before you speak. Grab happy hour drinks alone after a conference while the rest of the team chills at the bar? Talk out possible issues that may arise due to workplace complications in advance, e.g. Discuss possible workplace scenarios that may arise, agree to keep lines of communication with your partner open (and honest and constructive), and agree to talk through any issues that may arise. How well they shake out for colleagues and employers, well, it’s all in how much love and respect you show them — and how you choose to comport yourself.
“Just the sound of that special someone’s name can change their focus and behavior, to the point where you can see physical changes in the brain,” says Sukel.
“If your cubicle mate suddenly has to join in every conversation mentioning that one cute guy, seems very aware of where he is, what he says and what he’s doing, and makes a point of bringing him up whenever she can, there’s a good chance there is a romance on the horizon.” Sign #2 – Hanging out Sophia Lam, 30, crossed paths with her now-husband, Roger when they both worked as customer service representatives at e Bay in Burnaby, B. Initially, they didn’t feel any attraction until they started to hang out in the same circle of co-workers about a year and a half later.
“In the food and beverage industry, the end of work often marks the beginning of play without a change of venue.